How youah goin’ solve those language problems?

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What language do YOU speak?

“Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers” ~Cesar Chavez

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“I never learned from a man who agreed with me” -Robert Heinlein

“Confronting Class in the Classroom” and “Stupid Rich Bastards”, written by bell hooks and Laurel Johnson Black respectively, focus on how language varies depending on social class and how language can influence people’s lives and education. Both Black and hooks came from a working class and spoke a working-class language. Due to their differences, they struggled when they encountered middle-class people in college, but each of them had a very different way to face their class differences. In this essay, I was asked to compare Black and hooks’ college experiences, and to identify what can we learn from their experiences.

In this paper, I mainly worked on not just comparing and contrasting, but creating a big picture. These pictures represent my conclusion in the rough draft and my conclusion in the final draft:

I focused on describing how the similar and different experiences from hooks and Black could apply to every college student and what could be learned from these experiences. In my thesis statement I was able to compare, contrast, and create a big picture effectively in the first draft. My conclusion was better than the first assignment’s conclusion because I didn’t restate what was previously mentioned in the paper, but it still had to be revised because it did not fully show a big picture. In my first draft, my conclusion focused on what could we learn about hooks’ and Black’s experiences. In my final draft I didn’t only focus on what could we learn, but I also focused on how could these lessons be learned.

Another revision I did between my first and final draft was the way I used quotes and examples. Sometimes I would describe the similarity or difference of the texts, but I only wrote an example about one of the essays, without mentioning the other essay. I learned that in a compare and contrasts essay, the topic sentence of the paragraphs will include both essays, so the examples supporting the topic sentence should come from both texts.

One element from my really good story that I used in this essay was to add a personal touch. Since the point of this essay was to compare and contrast two essays, I didn’t know if including my personal opinion or examples was the right thing to do. I took the risk and added some personal thoughts, which turned out to be a good idea. These examples made my essay more relatable to the reader, which caused it to become more interesting.

In this essay I realized how much my writing was improving. I was able to effectively create a big picture in my thesis statement, something I had not been able to do before. Also, before writing an essay I created a somewhat organized outline, which included a Venn diagram to compare and contrast both essays and a list of the main topic sentences. The aspect I liked the most about this essay, though, is that I took a risk and did something I wasn’t sure it was going to work. Risks are usually hard for me to take because of the fear of making a mistake, but this essay taught me that risks might not always work, but they are worth taking because they can make things much more interesting.

To read my second assignment, click here:  How youah goin’ solve those language problems?

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